THE MIND
EMOTIONAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL THRIVING
Learning to feel, heal, and live more fully.
Growing up, I was told by Mr. Rogers (more on him later) how important feelings were—that emotions mattered, and that it was okay to talk about them. But somewhere along the way, I forgot. Or maybe I didn’t forget—I just didn’t know how to live that truth.
I’m 53 now, and only recently have I begun to truly embrace the importance of emotional and psychological health. Not just as an abstract concept, but as a daily practice. For most of my life I’ve struggled with big, difficult emotions—especially anger, fear, and sadness. I didn’t know what to do with them, so I buried them. Or ran. Or numbed out. And while those strategies might have offered temporary relief, they never brought lasting peace.
What I’ve come to realize is this: emotions aren’t the enemy. They’re messengers. They show up to tell us something important about our inner world and unmet needs. When we ignore or suppress them, we miss the message—and often suffer more because of it.
In this section, we’ll explore what it means to feel well, not just be well. You’ll find reflections and resources on topics like:
Understanding and working with anxiety and how to Let Go.
Living with more authenticity and less fear of what others think about us
How to find your purpose
A series on freedom and the gift to be found in our struggles. The Obstacle is the Way.
The hidden cost of resentments—and how to let go
The healing power of forgiveness and making amends
Overcoming addiction
And a more advanced section on meditation and emotional regulation through presence
My hope is that this space feels like a gentle, honest conversation—one that gives you permission to feel deeply, to struggle sometimes, and to keep showing up with compassion for yourself and others.
Emotional thriving isn’t about always being happy. It’s about becoming emotionally honest, emotionally resilient, and emotionally free.
Let’s walk this part of the journey together.
Content Menu
Anxiety
In late 2023, I hit a wall. We were transitioning from full-time living in Colorado back to Texas, and I was overwhelmed—too many responsibilities, too many moving parts. I wasn’t sleeping well, I felt untethered, and for the first time in a long time, I was miserable. But what really shook me was how the anxiety showed up—not so much as racing thoughts, but as a visceral, body-based fear. My mind could be relatively quiet, but my chest would tighten or my stomach would twist.
This was jarring because the months prior had been among the most spiritually rich of my life. I had felt connected, inspired, and elevated. Then in January 2024, I got hit with the flu—flat on my back for days. It felt like a forced surrender.
During that low point, I had a thought I’ve come to recognize as significant: Maybe this misery is the gift. Maybe this is the moment I make a real shift. It reminded me of when I quit drinking. Sometimes it takes being brought to our knees to gain the motivation to change course, and the obstacle becomes the way.
So I got serious. I reached out to friends who had navigated anxiety. I found a somatic therapist. I became willing to try anything, and that’s when I discovered Wim Hof breathing. From the very first session, it made a difference. As I shared in the Breath Work section, it was a game changer. It gave me a sense of control over my physiology and a direct path to calming my system. I soon layered in meditation, creating a daily combo of breathwork followed by stillness. Cold showers followed, then full-on cold plunges. Slowly, I started to feel like myself again.
But the real breakthrough came through synchronicity. Within a few days, two different friends gave me the exact same advice: When fear arises, don’t resist it. Let it move through you. It echoed the central practice in David Hawkins' Letting Go: to stop running, stop resisting, and simply allow the feeling to be there—without judgment, without trying to fix it.
Soon I had a chance to try it at my daughter’s choir recital. Out of nowhere, that familiar fear began creeping in. Instead of panicking or distracting myself, I mentally leaned in. I said, “Come on, you mother effer. Fill my body. I welcome you.” And something wild happened—it did. And then it passed. No resistance. No drama. Just energy flowing through.
Hawkins writes that when we allow a feeling to fully rise without resisting, venting, or suppressing it, the energy behind it naturally dissipates. That was my experience. Since then, fear still visits, but not like before. That level of anxiety hasn’t returned in almost two years. I also went a long time without being sick, which makes me wonder what anxiety does to one’s immune system.
So if you're reading this and feeling anxious, here’s what worked for me:
Wim Hof breathwork – gets you out of your head and into your body.
Meditation – reconnects you with a quieter, steadier self.
Cold therapy – trains your nervous system to stay calm in stress and flood your body with mood boosting chemicals like dopamine.
Letting go – welcome the fear instead of fighting it.
Letting Go is one of my favorite personal growth books, by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. He’s best known for Power vs. Force, but Letting Go goes deeper into emotional surrender. If you’re curious, I’ve included a summary based from my notes from the book. It’s had a lasting impact on how I process emotions.
Letting Go: A Practice and a Philosophy
This book doesn’t offer a quick fix—it’s a profound shift in how we relate to emotions, especially the ones we’re conditioned to avoid like fear, guilt, anger, or grief.
The core idea is simple but radical: most of us are constantly resisting our feelings. We suppress them, express them in distorted ways, or escape them altogether. Hawkins teaches that instead of fighting emotions, we can allow them to rise, feel them fully, and let them pass through us—just energy moving through the body.
He writes, “Letting go is like the sudden cessation of an inner pressure or the dropping of a weight. It is accompanied by a sudden feeling of relief and lightness.” That’s exactly what I felt that day in the choir recital—like I was releasing pressure I didn’t even know I was holding.
Some other takeaways that really landed for me:
Feelings drive thoughts – not the other way around. A single suppressed emotion can generate thousands of thoughts over time. By releasing the emotion, the obsessive thinking often dissolves too.
Resistance is the glue – what keeps emotions stuck isn’t the feeling itself, but our resistance to them. The moment we allow the emotions to flow without judgment, they begin to lose their charge.
You are not your feelings – the real you is the witness. Hawkins reminds us that our true nature isn’t fear, grief, or anger—it’s the awareness behind them.
Fear is healed by love – Hawkins writes that love is a higher vibrational energy that can dissolve fear. Not necessarily romantic love, but unconditional, non-attached presence. I’ve found that to be true in my own life.
Negative emotions are survival programs – outdated scripts we picked up to stay safe in a chaotic world. Letting go helps update those scripts and opens us up to joy, peace, and higher consciousness.
One of the most helpful parts of the book is his Map of Consciousness, which charts emotions on a scale of vibrational energy. It’s not just metaphor—he makes the case that everything in the universe has a frequency, and that our emotional states either contract or expand our energy field accordingly:
At the low end of the scale are:
Shame – the lowest frequency, close to death
Guilt – self-hatred, masochism, and illness
Fear – anxiety, control, possessiveness
Grief and Apathy – hopelessness and despair
Anger and Desire – more energetic but still draining
The turning point is Courage– the first step into empowerment, integrity, and forward momentum.
From there, energy rises into:
Willingness – openness and service
Acceptance – peace with what is
Love – unconditional, non-attached, heart-centered
Joy – bliss, compassion, patience
Peace – rare, radiant presence
What I love about this scale is that it reframes emotional work as energetic hygiene. You're not just “getting through” hard feelings—you’re liberating trapped energy and expanding your capacity to love, serve, and feel joy. When I started releasing fear instead of resisting it, I could literally feel my body relax and open. It’s like stepping out of survival mode and into trust.
If that speaks to you, I highly recommend the book. It’s a manual for emotional sovereignty and the beginning of spiritual awakening.
I don’t know if this exact protocol helps with depression, but given how intertwined anxiety and depression can be, it might be worth a try. Even if it doesn’t resolve everything, it could be a starting point toward relief—and maybe even growth.
Lastly, suffering comes for all of us. But we do have a choice: we can suffer passively, or we can suffer with purpose—using it to grow. To capture that spirit of moving from hardship into hope, I created a playlist called Coming Out of the Dark.”
Authenticity
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure... As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
— Marianne Williamson
In the introduction, I shared that much of the content on this site reflects lessons I wish I had learned earlier in life. One of the biggest was the importance of authenticity. The idea of being my authentic self didn’t really register until I was in my early 50s. Ironically, Mr. Rogers was talking about this when I was a child, gently reminding us that we are lovable just the way we are. But somewhere along the way I lost sight of that truth. I spent most of my life focused on performance, approval, and productivity—rarely pausing to ask the deeper questions: Who am I? and Why am I here?
These are not abstract philosophical questions. They directly shape how we live, the choices we make, and the people we surround ourselves with.
So how do we begin the journey back to our true selves?
One of the most insightful—and entertaining—starting points I’ve found is this blog post by Tim Urban:
Why You Should Stop Caring What Other People Think
This piece is long, hilarious, and transformational. Urban breaks down why we’re so obsessed with other people’s opinions and how to break free.
Here are a few key takeaways:
The Mammoth Metaphor: Urban introduces the idea of the Social Survival Mammoth—our prehistoric ego that evolved to be hyper-attuned to the judgments of others. It craves approval and fears rejection, often hijacking our decisions to keep us “safe” in the eyes of the tribe.
The Puppet Masters: These are the people whose opinions run your life. They may be your parents, your partner, your boss, or the high-status people in your social circle. We give them unconscious power over our choices.
Your Authentic Voice (AV): This is the wiser, truer part of you—some might call it the soul, inner compass, or higher self. Your AV knows what you value, what brings you joy, and what feels aligned. It doesn’t have all the answers, but it usually knows the next right step. “Your AV knows how you feel deep down... It knows which kinds of people, topics of interest, and types of activities you truly enjoy—and which you don’t.”
Taming the Mammoth: The process of reclaiming your authenticity involves deep reflection. Urban poses powerful questions:
Who in your life actually energizes you?
Do you spend money or time on things that don’t feel right?
What parts of your life carry a quiet shame or dread?
What would you do, say, or pursue if you weren’t afraid of being judged?
This is the hard—and sacred—work of becoming yourself. As Urban writes:
“You’ve got to figure out what actually matters to you and start being proud of whoever your Authentic Voice is.”
For me, learning to listen to that voice has been one of the most important shifts in my life. It has meant letting go of old roles, outdated expectations, and the constant need for approval. It’s an ongoing practice, but one that leads to deeper joy, more meaningful relationships, and a quieter, clearer sense of purpose. I have found this piece by Urban to be so powerful that I read it at least once per year as a check-in. I hope you enjoy it. And remember, you are the only you that has ever existed…a beautiful, totally unique blend of soul and physical form—the only you that will ever be.
“To thine own self be true”